Okay, so I have (with the help of an amazing counsellor who spends all day dealing with neurotic students like myself) confronted and worked out – if not dealt with – all of my emotional issues regarding life the universe and everything.
But I’m still suffering from academic anxiety. I know that I’m miles behind on all of my work (the paper taking the biggest hit is for my Major – English), but I can’t seem to get the work done still. All the things that I used to find hard, like exercise and not over eating, are easy right now; but the things that I used to find easy, like annotated bibliographies, are in the too hard basket.
I have to figure it out somehow; if I can clear out my back log and go talk to my lecturer, all will probably be forgiven (with a deduction and a reprimand for not talking to him sooner); and this conversation that I need to have with him is also in the too hard basket. Any of my other lecturers and nothing would be a problem, but this one knows me, he knows my day to day issues (not the current one obviously – though I’m sure he has theories) and how I react under pressure. Except that normally under pressure I produce my best work, and at the moment I’m not producing anything.
So the next few days are going to be dedicated to working on my back log, and composing an email or letter to my lecturer that requires no face to face confrontation.
If I can get my groove back, I think everything will be okay; but I have to be careful not to force it, I don’t want to get stuck like this. Because I’m so worked up over my academic stuff that I can’t even write my fiction.