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  • Yes Peach knows I’m writing this.

Say no to crack

Come to Jesus – technically not so much a Peachism, but she’s the only person I know who uses this.

High Texas – The evolution of this is kind of funny, and the term itself is a Taliaism. Peach often says “Bless their heart!”, also known as the Texan F*** You. I would say “Hi Texas” when she did that and it kind of evolved… and I like it.

That’s a hard limit – I used the term “bum nuts” to describe the 25 farm fresh eggs I was given, apparently this was unacceptable…

Parental Tourette’s – A little irreverent perhaps. If you’ve ever had a conversation (on the phone in particular) with a parent whose children are at home you will be aware of that thing they do; where they turn away to shout at, or otherwise instruct, the wee creatures; and return to the conversation as if it never happened.

Knicker Roulette – When you’ve started a brand new form of hormonal birth control and have no idea what may or may not happen to your menstrual cycle.

Hand gestures and finger puppets – explanations and descriptions often come with on or both of these.

Children the Ultimate STD! – If I have to explain this, you don’t have children.

Pie Warmer – To have reached the state of pie warmer is to have reached that time of day where the brain simply switches off in self-defense. Previously known as ‘lights are on, but no one is home’.

and last but not least …

A cascade of fuckery… – I’m still awaiting an explanation that comes with the aforementioned hand gestures.

I’m sure that there will be more to come. In the mean time, enjoy.